On Empathic Listening

I can always explain conveniently to my wife every aspect of my interest, hobbies, and daily hustles, but I keep mum when being asked: “You’re still working this late?”

Trying to calm down, and control my emotions, I said: “Nay, I am doing my assignment on Coach Approach Training and I need time to reflect. I have to complete all of this stuff on or before Friday!”

But my wife insisted:

“But, now is the perfect time to apply what you have learned! You have to listen.” Her tone, emotions, and emphasis on “YOU HAVE TO LISTEN” still lingers on my mind every time I move to another chapter of the assignments and every time, I get the chance to talk to my colleagues and even to my loved ones.

The thought of empathic listening brings out the philosopher in us. As such, I firmly believe that empathic listening is an act of love. I believe that God has been talking aloud in my heart, but I failed too many times to listen attentively to what He is saying; because most of the time I could not even pause, reflect, and listen to what others are saying.

Most of the time, I am too preoccupied with completion of tasks on time and I am plainly oblivious to some raised concerns, by just responding in a robotic manner.

Here are some cases in point:

• “Sir, I have to attend to my siblings tomorrow because my wife got sick…”
• “Sir, I need to see a doctor tomorrow because of my hemorrhoid…”
• “Sir, this audit finding has been recurring and I am having some goosebumps…”

Indeed, empathic listening is equivalent to “deep listening”; and it needs practice. I have to prayerfully reflect upon the events and circumstances (good or bad) within my circle of influence. I must admit that it begins with simple acts of attentive listening to my loved ones, direct reports, to my daughter, and to my wife, to harness my intimate connection with the Almighty.

In my prayer, I earnestly ask God for guidance. And I think He has given me the lifetime partner who gives unflinching support to my career as a leader and as a husband/father by constantly reminding me to listen. (Francis Manayan)