HIV Positive, Still Positive in Life

Dear KNOT,

It was in 2009 that I discovered this sickness when for how many times, I was admitted for several reasons. Wa pa ko kabalo unsa man diay ning HIV. I admit, I am a gay and went into a lot of relationships (kiat-kiat) before.

Nagsugod ang tanan sa online “aybol-aybol”. Kana bang mag chat online then magkita kita… Wala koy kahadlok nga makig amigo then later, naa nay mahitabo namo.

The act was addicting that there came a time when I told myself to have the intercourse every single day in one month to satisfy my desire. But I stopped when I finally met this man named “Code D”. Six years kaming naging steady. I joined him in his ups and downs and we even promised ourselves to be by each others’ side no matter what happens.

At ‘yun na nga, after series of laboratory exams, the hospital staff finally confirmed that I got the illness. I called “Code D” up and he came to my rescue. He had his check-up, too and as expected, positive din siya. It was a painful reality to both of us. Jokingly, we even told each other, “Ingon bitaw ko nimo nga mag-uban gihapon ta hangtud sa hangtud.” Yet, I know that there is another Will for both of us, that’s why, even if it was heart-breaking, I decided to go out of that relationship.

Akala ko mamamatay na ako that month. Yet, the comforting presence of my mother and the financial assistance of my sister helped me through. Akala ni Mama, gagaling na ako kase daw nasa hospital na. But she never knew, that ‘til today, many are still dying.

Then my God’s hands started to move.

That same month, I met a priest who works in the HIV ministry; of counseling people with HIV. He offered me to join a community. I jumped into his offer and met the same people who have the same sickness with me during that Christmas Party. Kakaiba ang Pasko ko that time. A mixture of emotions. It was a Christmas with a little sigh and relief noting that there are new friends surrounding and welcoming me without discrimination. That time, I was 52nd on the list!

Of course, it was sad to note, yet, nalaman ko -’di pala ako nag-iisa. Nabigyan ako ng pag-asa.

My world continued to roll. I decided to volunteer to be an advocate. I was placed by the Lord in another town here in the Region. Recently, I was even tempted to go back to my old habit, yet, the compassion was there. Salamat sa pari nga gauban nako niining kalisud. Unsaon nalang kung makatakod napud ko, di ba?

My views about life have changed. My new home is the hospital.

Since, it was located near a parish, I tried to fight my daily struggle of having a new environment, of waiting for people to comfort serving His ministries. From operating the LCD projector, to joining the Lector’s Club, to singing with the Choir, ginawa ko na lahat. These helped me forget my trial as I allowed the Lord to use my remaining time.

Moreover, I was offered to host a radio program in-tandem with a medical practitioner to inform the public in matters related to HIV.

At night, I used to go around the bars to remind and educate others about it. I even visited and counsel some of those with HIV, too.

I want to be a living testimony to them – that HIV is real, it can kill.

Five years na ang nakalipas, today, I am still with this ministry. My mother is still there visiting me. Iba na nga ang buhay ko. I became more closer to the Lord.

Wala akong pinagsisihan at wala akong sinisisi dahil ginamit niya ang sakit na ito para makilala ko ang Diyos. Ngayon, mas na-appreciate ko na ang buhay lalo na nang nalaman kong bilang na ang araw ko dito sa mundo. Salamat sa lahat ng sumusuporta at gumagabay sa akin. Thank you Lord and Mama Mary! May this story inspire. I wish to be invited to speak in front especially of the young people. Just let me know. -Code V

Salamat Code V for the story. Let us tie the KNOT and send us that story via desk@davaocatholicherald.com. Follow me on Twitter @ChengVilog. Like us on FB Page: Davao Catholic Herald Official and read more the stories. ‘Til next k’wentuhan, higala.