Weakness ba ang Magpatawad?

Dear Ate Emz,

Nakapagpatawad ka na ba? Totoo ba ang kasabihan na “you can forgive, but you can’t forget?” Ako si Mary Faith, a call center agent. There is this girl na itinuring kong kapatid. Sa walong taon ko na sa BPO industry, siya lang talaga ang supportive kong friend. But one day, she did something na nasaktan ako. Nasaktan ako dahil mahal ko siya, bilang best friend, bilang younger sister. Dahil sa aming alitan, nasabihan ko siya ng “I hate you!!” But lumipas ang ilang buwan, I forgave her dahil nagsorry naman siya. I still look at her as my younger sister. Partially, bumalik ang turingan namin. But recently, just this week sa workplace, she did the same thing. Weak ba ako dahil I trusted her again? Weak ba ang tawag sa isang tao na lubos magmahal sa kapwa?

Daghang Salamat
Mary Faith

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Dear Mary Faith,

A faithful friend is a sure shelter, when you have found one, you have found a rare treasure.

Friendship is one of God’s precious gifts, hence, one really works hard to value it. You invest a lot of trust as you gradually take down your walls and share your deeper selves with each other. You begin to care, you begin to love. Furthermore, you become more vulnerable to pains and hurts especially when things go wrong or do not turn out as expected. And the wounds resulting from the painful experiences are usually much deeper because they come from the person close to you or from the one you love. When you are hurt, the challenge you face is, will you forgive the person who caused this pain? Will you seek forgiveness from the one you have hurt?

Forgiving someone or seeking for forgiveness demands a lot of love and humility to do so. Sa inyong karanasan, Mary Faith, salamat sa Panginoon at nakamtan ninyo ang pagpapatawad at paghingi ng kapatawaran upang maibalik ang inyong pagkakaibigan, at magtiwala ulit, maging vulnerable ulit. Ngunit paano kung ginawa na naman ang nasabing pangyayari?

People have reasons to behave the way they do. Minsan aware sila nito, ngunit minsan wala din silang kamalayan kung ano ang epekto ng kanilang ginawa sa ibang tao. Likas na mahina ang bawat isa. Minsan mag backslide sa parehong gawain ang hiningan na ng kapatawaran. Kaya kung naulit ng iyong kaibigan ang kanyang ginawa, alamin kung ano pa ang mas malalim na dahilan, kung ano talaga ang ugat nito, upang siya ay lalong maunawaan.

Ano ba ang batayan ng Panginoon tungkol sa pagpapatawad? SEVENTY TIMES SEVEN! Yes, bear in mind and in your heart what Jesus said, not seventy times but seventy times seven! (Mt. 18: 22). Meaning, walang katapusang pagpapatawad, kung sa ating popular na salita, UNLIMITED or UNLI, for short!

“Weak ba ako dahil I trusted her again? Weak ba ang tawag sa isang tao na lubos magmahal sa kapwa?”

Forgiving the one who has hurt you is an act of the will, a choice, a decision. It is a loving action, it is trusting once again. It does not imply weakness, in fact, it takes a lot of inner strength and courage to do so. Dahil nga mahal mo siya. Ganyan ang pagmamahal ng tunay na kaibigan. If you care for her and for your friendship, you willingly extend yourself, take another risk, go out of your way again and find out reasons for the same wrongdoing. Indeed, this challenges your patience, compassion as well as your understanding.

Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. (Ephesians 4:31-32)

Remember, PEACE COMES WITH FORGIVENESS, it is a process and it is renewed daily. You may not forget the incident but eventually with time, there will be no more pain because the scars do not hurt anymore. When it is difficult to forgive, ask God to help you extend grace and forgiveness. And after each storm of your friendship have passed and everything is calm, may both of you emerge as stronger and better friends, supporting each other through all seasons.

Hoping and praying that you will face the challenge to love forgiveness, live forgiveness and show forgiveness.

God bless you more.
Ate Emz