That Day with My Father

I really have high regard and respect to all fathers especially to my own father. But my relationship with my father has undergone a tough and painful yet very fruitful and worthwhile processing.

During my elementary up to college years, I was not really close to my father. I did not have a good relationship with my father because I had so many unpleasant experiences with him since. All I could recall was a very disciplinarian, high tempered, happy-go-lucky and ‘irresponsible’ father. In short, I could not reconcile that time why some fathers were very responsible in the family and are so attached to their children and could relate like best friends. But my relationship with my father was the opposite.

When I had the chance for a ‘heart-to-heart’ talk with my father, I poured out all my pains and hatred that I felt for him. And, from that time on, something has really changed. That was the first time I got courage to talk with father. What was very meaningful that time was the image of an accepting father. The moment I poured out everything in front of my father and all my pains and ‘disappointments’ with him, the only response I heard from my father were the tears which flowed out from his eyes with the words “pasayloa ko”. It really crumpled my heart and I could not control my tears, too. That was the beginning of an exchange of intimate conversations with my father. And when my father began to narrate his own story in life, it was from that moment that I began to understand him why he had raised us as he did. It was from that moment that I saw the brighter side of my father. Then, I began to realize that my father had also so many sacrifices for us, but that I saw only the dark side of him and had focus on that side since then.

A father, though sometimes acts like not a father, is always a father. He has done some sacrifices without telling his children. From that experience with my father, I learned that it is not healthy to compare one person to another. My father is really unique and cannot be the same with some other fathers. Today, I can easily approach my father. I can talk and share some life stories with him. Yes, he is not a perfect father, but he is always my father and through him I was born. Happy Father’s Day to all fathers especially to my beloved father. (Sem. Junel E. Bustamante)