To Today’s Youth: PRE-CANA or PRE-KAMA?

The “Mary, month of May” has passed and the “Marrying month of June” is here! Every future bride dreams of a fairy-tale wedding this month: to walk down the aisle dressed in a sparkling white gown befitting a virgin bride towards the dashing groom waiting with much anticipation in the altar. Sadly though, only very few of those who get married nowadays are pure and virginal. Most have been into pre-marital sex either secretly or openly.

Pre-marital sex used to be taboo, something people only talk about in secret or in whispers. Today, however, it has become the “IN” thing for most, including even those in their early teens. People engage in sex casually, either as a mistaken expression of their “love” for one another or as a means of satisfying their physical attractions and needs, that is, lust. Seldom do people now talk of marriage before getting into sex. Neither do they think of the tragic consequences that pre-marital sex could bring into their lives: abortion, murder of babies, forced marriages, broken homes, broken future, emotional and psychological disorders, sexually transmitted diseases, etc.

The Catholic Church preaches that sex between man and woman is reserved for marriage as an expression of love between husband and wife and with the purpose of pro-creating a child conceived in love. The Bible teaches us that before man and woman come together as husband and wife, and before they express their love physically as man and woman, they are first blessed by God. Genesis 1:27 says, “First, God created man in His image and likeness, male and female He created them.” Then, in Genesis 1:28 it says, “God blessed them saying, Be fertile and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it.” Therefore, the first ever marriage on earth was the one officiated by God in the Garden of Eden for Adam and Eve. Today, God’s blessing is given to the couple through the Sacrament of Matrimony. Only in sacramental marriage do we find God’s blessing upon the act of sexual love, or what is better termed marital love. (Fr. William Saunders.)

Can we still find people who are faithful to these teachings of the Church? By the grace of God and devotion to the Virgin Mary, there are still a few among the youth of today who faithfully observe the vow of purity before marriage. One of these faithful ones are Alvin and Freah Suemitsu.

Both are graduates of Ateneo de Davao University; he is a certified Iron Man triathlete, Electrical Communications Engineer, works in Japan, and is also the Chairman/CEO of a Davao-based corporation he built with his college buddies; she is a CPA/MBA, a licensed real estate broker and runs her own business supplying imported flowers to the florists in the city. They are the epitomes of the modern, successful youth — jet-setters and cosmopolitan. So it came as a surprise to the lecturers in their Pre-Cana seminar when they revealed that they both have a vow of purity — to remain chaste and pure until after they have received the Sacrament of Matrimony to sanctify their union. They both belong to the Singles for Christ and are deeply devoted to the Virgin Mary. They had their civil wedding last June 8, 2018 as a prelude to their church wedding this month June 8, 2019 and yet they have resisted temptations to engage in sex until after their Church wedding. As they both say: TRUE LOVE WAITS.

Alvin and Freah together explained their vow of purity this way: “I believe that a person’s body is sacred, as such it is to be respected, nurtured and kept pure to be used only according to God’s plan. A couple who engage in pre-marital sex commit a grievous sin and it separates them from God; graces can no longer flow from God to them. This conviction was further strengthened after reading St. John Paul’s book ‘Theology of the Body’. Everyone, especially young men and women, should read this book.”

Rev. Fr. Orlando Borres, SDB, explained thus: “People who engage in pre-marital or extra-marital sex are living in sin because the act abuses the gift of sexuality which is sacred; for this however, the Church offers a remedy: the Sacraments of Confession and Matrimony. Civil marriage satisfies the human and natural law of marriage alone while the sacrament of Matrimony embraces the divine law and all laws.” The Church too, therefore, continually exhorts today’s youth to choose the virtue of chastity over the fleeting pleasures of a sinful sexual life, to choose Pre-Cana first and not Pre-Kama (bed), to choose to build a marriage and family sanctified by the sacrament of Matrimony.

When asked how they were able to remain sexually pure, Alvin and Freah gave this advice to the youth: Be devoted to the Virgin Mary. Pray for purity and frequent the sacraments. Set a high standard for yourself and for your partner. Focus your energy first on developing financial and emotional stability for your future family instead of dwelling on temporary sexual pleasures. Keep your clothes on. Say “NO” to Pre-Kama. (Marian CarmelaRaquel)