Genuine and fake love

WE can presume that everything that we do is done in the name of love. We do it because there is something good that we can derive from it. That’s the way we are made. We are oriented always towards the good. We try to avoid evil.

The problem is that our concept of love and of what is good and evil may not be as they should be. We can fall into a very subjective approach in these matters to such an extent that our subjective understanding of love, good and evil can be categorically opposed to the objective truth.

And so we need to learn to distinguish between what is genuine love and fake love, between what is objectively good and evil and what may just be our own ideas of them that do not conform to the truth.

Nowadays, the ability to distinguish these essential elements in our life is most needed since we are in very complicated times and many people, especially the young, the so-called millennials, are unfortunately thrown into deep confusion and ignorance. Some people have even described such sad phenomenon is invincibly irremediable.

But I believe there’s always hope and that we can still manage to get to the truth. And so the first thing that we can say with regard to this issue is that to distinguish between truth and falsehood, between good and evil, between genuine love and fake love, we need to have a close, intimate relationship with God.

After all, he is the creator of all things, the first and ultimate lawgiver, the very foundation of reality. Without him, we go out on a limb, and expose ourselves to many dangers. Not that with him, we are free of dangers. In fact, with him, we will always be hounded by temptations from inside us and outside us. But at least with him, we are sure of the path we are taking, the choice we are making.

Our love, to be true, can only flow from God who is love himself. And that love is shown to us and is made available to us by Christ who commanded us precisely to love one another as he himself has loved us. (cfr Jn 13,34)

This love that comes from God through Christ in the Holy Spirit will always be in the truth, will always be consistent irrespective of our conditions and circumstances, will always know how to adapt itself to different situations without getting lost.

As St. Paul would put it, “Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends…” (1 Cor 13,4-8)

We have to learn to give all our heart to God by exercising those gifts God himself has given us so we can share in his life and love, i.e., the theological gifts of faith, hope and charity. We need time and effort to do this.

And given our human condition now, it is a love that knows how to do spiritual battle against the enemies of God and love. It knows how to renew itself always and to go through the lifelong process of having to begin and begin again. Things would always appear new to us even if we handle the same things everyday.

When our love is simply based on our own ideas and, worse, on our senses and feelings alone, that love can only be fake no matter how passionate it may appear, at least for a moment. It cannot stand the test of time nor cope all the challenges, trials and temptations we have in this world.