Seeing the Light in Blindness

Dear KNOT,

Graduating na ako ngayon sa college.

Pangarap ko ang maging madre nuon pero ngayon di ko na alam kung nandun pa rin yung desire. Laruan ko nung bata pa lang ako ay mga maliit na estatwa ng iba’t ibang santo at santa. Sila na nga ang aking “Barbie” at “Ken”. Imagine at a young age, pinag poprusisyon ko sila. Ako din ang gumagawa ng cutie na “karo” na kanilang masasakyan.

Hanggang sa nangyari ang isang di inaasahang bagay. Naligo kami sa ilog nuon at dahil sa infection ay nabulag ako. Dali-dali akong dinala nila mama sa doctor. Ang sabi naman niya, buti daw naagapan dahil kung ito’y natagalan pa ay baka di na ako makarecover.

Bulag ako for 2 months when I was in my 6th grade. Para sa isang bata na gusto pang maglaro at makita ang kanyang saints collection, that experience was not really fair for me. Si mama sinabihan ang doctor na bahala na ang wala kaming makain basta’t makakita lang daw ako. Nasa dugo kasi namin ang sira ang mga mata kaya napuruhan talaga ako sa ilog.

Minsan nagwawala ako sa hospital. Tinatanggal ko ang dextrose at kung anu-anong sinasabit nila sa akin. Dumating sa punto na sinabi ko sa kanilang, mas maigi pa ang mamatay na lang kesa ang manatiling walang makita. Ang mga mata ang sa aki’y mas mahalaga kesa tenga.

Ngunit hindi sumuko ang aking mama at ang aking doctor. Lagi niya akong binibisita, hanggang ang temporary blindness ko ay nawala.

Naenjoy ko na naman ang high school days ko but this time, iba na ang pananaw ko sa kagandahan ng mundo.

Naawa na ako sa mga bulag na hindi man lang mabigyan ng abuloy.

Umiiyak ako kapag pinapagalitan sila ng mga taong hinihingan nila ng tulong. Gusto kong sabihin sa mga nanlalait na subukan nilang maging bulag kahit isang araw lang at maiintindihan nila kung gaano kahirap ang hindi makakita.

Takot pa rin ako ngayon na baka mangyari uli sa akin ang pagkawala ng aking paningin. Pero salamat, nandiyan lagi si mama.

Advice ko lang sa lahat na huwag laitin ang mga differently abled persons gaya ng mga bulag. Mahalin din ang iyong mama.

Sa tuwing tinanong naman ako kung magmamadre ba daw ako, smile na lang ang nakukuha nila sa akin. May calling kaya ako? May connection kaya ang pagkabulag ko sa second life na ito?

Kyle

* * * * * *

Dear Kyle,

In life, each one is called to a certain vocation and this could be married life, religious life or single blessedness. This call may be revealed as early as childhood during playtime as in your case, and may once again pop up years after when you witness people suffering, being ridiculed or ill-treated.

It is the dark that enables us to the Light. That brief episode in your life where you experienced darkness may have been God’s way of making you understand more deeply the world of those who are visually impaired. Indeed, it takes one to know one and that explains why your heart simply goes out to them. Yes, if only those who have been unkind to these people will experience the same darkness, even just for a day, they will have learned to appreciate the precious gift of sight.

God works in mysterious ways. If you think this special episode in your life has moved you to a deeper calling to serve God by dedicating yourself through the religious life, I urge you to pray more so that you will be more enlightened of which path to follow. Join search-ins in different congregations because each one has a different mission, apostolate and charism. These are venues where you get insights into the convent life and its demands as well as consolations. The sisters will journey with you and are ready to extend their help as well as prayers so that you may find what is really God’s will for you.

Empty yourself of worries and fears so that God can fill you with the graces He desires to give you so that you may see more clearly the path where He leads you. Never lose hope for whatever way of life you embrace, there will always be opportunities to serve Him more fully.

God bless you more. Happy Mother’s Day to your mama. – Cheng and Ate Emily, KNOT program, DXGN 89.9 Spirit FM-Davao, Monday-Friday, 1-3 pm.