Love Is Not About What We Receive, But About What We Give

The Milan Cathedral, soaring against the Italian sky, took my breath away. It wasn’t just the stunning architecture that captivated me, but a deep sense of purpose that filled me.

I was standing in front of the cathedral, and I felt warmth in my heart. The cathedral was so beautiful, with all its fancy details and tall towers reaching up to the sky. Even though there were many people around, I felt a sense of peace inside. It was a moment where I could really think about the past few days, especially about the proposal I made to help Indigenous students get scholarships for our Corporate Social Responsibility (CSR) Programs. Despite the government’s efforts to provide infrastructure, challenges remained, particularly in areas like food security, transportation, and education. I had felt a deep sense of responsibility to help, and the cathedral’s presence seemed to amplify that feeling. The moment of silence within me was a call to action that served as a reminder that my life was meant for something bigger than myself.

Later, as we wandered through the city’s romantic streets, I was reminded of the 2004 movie “Milan.” One particular scene resonated deeply: Jenny (played by Claudine Barretto), the lead actress, posed a question to Lino (played by Piolo Pascual) that resonated within me.

“Mahal mo ba ako dahil kailangan mo ako? O kailangan mo ako kaya mahal mo ako?” (“Do you love me because you need me, or do you need me because you love me?”)

This question, so simple yet profound, forced me to examine my own motivations and the nature of my relationships.

I carefully considered the question, pondering its relevance to my own life. Was my love for others truly unconditional, or was it driven by selfish desires? The compelling question served as a tool to re-examine whether my chosen endeavors were rooted in genuine love or simply motivated by pride or personal gain.

I paused for a while and offered a short prayer. With total silence, I was just waiting for that precious moment wherein God’s voice would fill my heart. This was the type of prayer that I was longing for the very last time-to just listen to Him. I gently closed my eyes and then I recalled one of my unforgettable gospels in the Bible, John 21:17 wherein Peter was being asked by Christ with the same question three times: Do you love me? Naturally, Peter responded in affirmative, but Christ insistently responded: Then, feed my sheep.

The silence continued in my heart, as I gently opened my eyes. It became clearer that this powerful question was a stark reminder that true love is about service.

Then, on the way back to our place, while on the bus, I turned on my Spotify and got surprised by my first song in the playlist-The song entitled “Paubaya” by Moira Dela Torre. I was mesmerized by the lyrics on the first stanza.

“Saan nagsimulang magbago ang lahat?
Kailan no’ng ako’y ‘di na naging sapat?
Ba’t ‘di mo sinabi no’ng una pa lang?
Ako ang kailangan, pero ‘di ang mahal.”

Again, I was reminded by the infamous question of Jenny in the movie Milan; and the last line just hit me that brought some compelling realizations about the idea of love in my life and treatment with other people. Regardless of the types of relationship, whether for husband and wife, or in the area of Company’s CSR and IP scholars, it is not about “what’s in it for me/us,” but it is all about “what I can contribute to the relationship.” It is about service; and for me, service makes the world go round.

As I reflect on that day in Milan, I am filled with a renewed sense of purpose. The cathedral, the movie scene, and the song lyric all pointed to the same truth: love is not about what we receive, but about what we give. It is about serving others, about making a difference in the world. This realization has transformed my perspective, inspiring me to embrace a life of service, where my actions are driven by love and my purpose is defined by the impact I can make. (Francis Manayan)