LIVING LIFE AS A YOUTH (1 out of 3): “Childlike Faith”

“I can’t do it.” Just weeks before the worship night, I declared to God that I couldn’t handle it. I felt like a child, wanting to stay home with my tablet instead of going to the park. I was being stubborn again. In the nights leading up to the event, I was busy charting for nursing school and finishing our manuscript. Despite my anxiety and fear of repeating past mistakes, something urged me to seek help and keep going. I was doubtful about managing everything and afraid of disappointing others but there I was, messaging all of our Ministry Heads, Zone 8 Youth, and our Youth Leaders of the Chapel to help me figure out a lot of stuff.

A day before the worship night, while thinking of my prayers, I let out a weary sigh as I continued praying, “Santo Nino,” Holy Child if translated in English.. I took a pause and reflected on how much of a stubborn child I was lately. Too many complaints while working, too many things to think of while praying, too many words that were said out of hesitation yet have little faith. Indeed I was like a child, hiding from the corners, afraid of showing in front of the crowd. I once tried to count the days I had felt grateful, but there were none, as I’d been too preoccupied with worrying about things that had not yet come to pass. Then, our Formation Ministry Head, Ate Kristine Silvino, reminded me of a simple yet profound truth: to make space for the Holy Spirit. She explained that the more I focus on my worries, the less room there is for the Holy Spirit to move within me and guide me. This reminder shifted my perspective, helping me open my heart to gratitude and trust, rather than anxiety.

I saw that the world did not stop revolving around me when I kept worrying. I heard the laughter of our Youth Officers; I saw their excitement, joys, and smiles as they discussed the Worship Night. As an older sister, I didn’t want to be the one to spoil the fun with worry or stress, so I decided to take a step back and stop overthinking the entire Worship Night. To my surprise, I discovered that I wasn’t carrying the responsibility alone—I had the support of our Youth Officers alongside me all along.

Maryjoy our Youth President, kept reminding me over and over: “Kaya ra lagi na, te.” On the day of the Worship Night, although it was not honestly perfect as planned, I found my inner childlike. I admit that I am also like a child; I tend to be clumsy and fall short in everything. I have gaps and lapses because those are supposed to be the spaces for the Holy Spirit. These gaps represent my vulnerabilities and uncertainties, but that also signifies me to invite divine guidance and support. Within these spaces, my child faith shines, reminding me that I am also a child who trusts God the Father to catch me when I stumble. Through this Worship Night, I learned to calm my waves of anxiety and fears so I may be able to walk in the waters with the Holy Spirit. (Sophia Beatrice V. Sison | PSB, GKK Sto. Nino, Lanzona)