“The Babsoy & Mommy Show”: A Silver Linings Story (Part 2 of 2)

(“The Babsoy & Mommy Show” Part 1)

Things went from bad to worse in the ICU, first seizures then bleeding. She no longer opened her eyes when I said “The Mommy and Babsoy Show, now signing on.” My sisters and I rarely left her side at that point, for fear something might happen while we were gone. I whispered in prayer that I would never ask God for anything if he would just make her well again. One morning I woke up with the sound of her voice. I heard it so clearly I shot out of bed and ran all the way to the ICU. Upon seeing her that morning, it became clear to me that she was waiting for something all along. She was waiting for me to say “Everybody’s okay Mom. It’s okay for you to go.” So I told her that I understood what she wanted me to do, asking to give me until the end of the day to get everything ready.

I told my sisters what had happened and they both had the same experience. The three of us agreed that we needed to get everything ready, explain to our family that we needed to tell Mom it was okay, especially our Dad. I told Dra. Abarquez to make sure Mom was comfortable and asked to sign a DNR instruction on the chart. My sisters and I all signed the DNR, then went our separate ways to do our specific assignments. When we called her insurance agent, he told us that Mom had a Memorial plan and a burial plan all paid up and a file with explicit instructions on what to do in the event of her death. Everything was ready, including the thank you cards. She had even specified the number of days for her wake, the color of flowers she wanted, what food were appropriate to serve, where she wanted to be buried, everything. As the day progressed it became clear to my sisters and I, that our Mom had prepared for everything. She was just waiting for all of us to come to terms with the fact that she was going.

As agreed, I and my sisters again convened at 5pm. We bathed and dressed, told all of our relatives to go home and rest, and joined our Dad in the ICU to keep vigil by her side. We sat by her bed and talked to Mom about our plans for the future. We promised to stick to our upbringing, be the best people we could be, realize our dreams, choose our lifetime partners well, take care of each other, look after Lolo and make sure that the family stayed close. We said she could put on her wings and fly as fast as she could to Jesus. We told her it was okay to go.

Then my Dad started to tell us about how they met, how my Mom chose him in spite of his being rough around the edges and being “baduy” beyond all help, at which we all promptly burst into laughter. My younger sister looked up and gave me a nudge. Mom’s heart monitor had flatlined. That moment of laughter was her chosen moment to take flight and go home to heaven. My Mom became an angel on April 24, 2007 after she made sure we were all okay with her passing. During her memorial tribute, we gave her a standing ovation for the amazing person she was and the extraordinary life she had lived. We buried her at sunset just as she had instructed, while her friend played Amazing Grace on his saxophone.

Of course as my experience during the faculty retreat made me realize, I still wasn’t completely okay even after my Mom died. I wasn’t even aware that I had this “tampo” with God because he did not grant me my prayer. As I sat there in that chapel, I realized that I was wrong to think that God had abandoned us. I had asked for her to be healed and that’s exactly what God did. My mom WAS healed. With that thought I felt myself heal completely. Beside the cross in the chapel was the word Kairos. It’s a Greek word that means the right moment; the appointed time in the purpose of God. I saw the moments of the Babsoy and Mommy Show pass in my mind and I understood that God had not cursed my Mom when she got cancer. Instead she was given time to put her affairs in order, to teach me and my sisters fortitude of spirit, to forever bind us to be the true Dream Team — unbreakable, united, anchored on God. I realized how God gave me the special honor of being my Mom’s caregiver so that I could be the witness to the final chapter of her extraordinary life — one that He had filled with so much Mercy and Grace. God also chose the exact moment to usher our Mom into heaven, and the exact time for me come to terms with everything in the chapel that afternoon. I still cry when I think about what happened with my Mom and I miss her every day. I have a picture of her in my mind, looking down on all of us sitting on a cloud with her toes dangling. My Dad has joined her since, so I’m sure they are both having a blast up there. I make sure to tell her every day, “Everything’s fine Mom. We are all fine.” (Fe Monique Tagaytay)