Of Losing Sight

For five decades, my problem related to eyesight centered on the need for eyeglasses. That started at age thirty-five when I had my first pair of eyeglasses for reading. Since that age until age eighty-two, for nearly fifty years, the expected change of eyeglasses to a higher grade takes place every two or three years.

Two years ago, my ophthalmologist mentioned the existence of cataract which blurred my vision. But since the blurring takes place slowly, I got adjusted to it and could take it as part of growing old. However, I love to read for my hobby rather than sitting in front of the TV looking at the entertainment shows. In addition to reading, I satisfy myself using my time for service to the church, the community, the neighborhood, the schools and NGOs which needs reading of long minutes and documents. The difficulty of reading small prints especially in the evening made me think of having my cataract removed. It was not so quick to decide. I have to think of the resources needed, where, when, the doctor who will operate, and other items related to operation. However, the ophthalmologist’s advise, the surgeon he endorsed and the successful operation of my sister and friends eventually helped me decide.

The doctor explained that the seniors recuperate slower than the young ones, at least the caution prepared me to be patient with the pace of recovery. The eye operated cannot see during the first week after operation. I started looking at the bottom with the rest a view of radiance only. I kept closing my eyes. Day by day, the sight from the bottom goes up so slowly, the radiance proportionally reducing. Then as the radiance disappeared, vague forms appear which vagueness slowly gave way to a more pronounced form. This I followed through by looking at the plants and the altar in the inner patio and the neighborhood as seen from the upper porch. After one week, I thank God for the defined sight. Then I remember the blind men who were cured by Jesus. This could be the process they experienced but in a very quick pace.

I am still healthy. I did the dropping of so many eye medicines as frequently as every three hours, six times a day. I moved around the house by myself. I took my bath taking care that my operated eye will not be wet for the week. The activity I did not do was to read.

It is good to remember the added minor inconveniences I experienced. During the second week I was already having my ten-minute walk to the church for the mass. I was more cautious with my balance, focusing on the level of the ground I was walking on. There was this inability to calculate distances. Sometimes I extend my spoon farther than the food I was getting for my plate. When I cut, the scissors could be above or below what I was cutting. These then could be real problems for people who have sight problem. By knowing this, we could help them.

As I write this, I remembered growing up with my grandparents who did not have the aid of eye glasses. They lived with the limitation by holding on or touching the walls, rails, posts, furniture as they walked around the house. I thank the Lord for my acceptance of them, patience with them. How they accepted their limitation!

Others have surmounted their loss of eyesight. When I was still working full-time, there were two blind students who studied in college. They attend to their classes coping with the requirements with the help of the college and their classmates. They come to school taking the jeepney. How wonderful as these students accept their limitation, surmount it and make the most of their talents and resources. In contrast, there are millions in the world with overflowing resources who are just wasting these and ruining their lives. Lord, how do I help them? There is so much we still could do and must do for others, both for those who have none and those who have much but ungrateful and wasteful.

There are now many of us seniors in the subdivision. Several of us walk to mass daily. I enjoy walking with them. Few are weaker than I am. So holding an arm for help in crossing the street or going up and down the sidewalk is appreciated. A reminder to stay at the side of the street, not at the center, is helpful. The young ones go ahead to hurry to their work so we, seniors walk together home.

Now, we could empathize with the blind who were cured by Jesus. His touch made them see the wonder of creation in all colors, shapes and forms. From nothing to everything the eye could see, what grace!!

Dear Lord, thank you for the wondrous gift of sight. I thank you for my operation which gave me a chance of appreciating my sight better and more caring for others too. When we pass on to the life hereafter, may we eternally gaze upon You with beatific vision.