Trust In Me, Trust In Others

Since the start of my retirement years from full-time service over a decade ago, praying at dawn upon waking up became a habit. Praying at dawn is so enticing because of silence, coolness and concentration as I look at the few statues I have at the small altar in the tiny inner porch. With some plants to soothe my eyes, my prayer is accentuated by appreciating His creation. Through the screened ceiling where I see the sky and sometimes the moon, I bow in reverence to our God Almighty thanking Him for His favor, to Our Lord Jesus Christ for saving us, and God the Holy Spirit for His guidance from moment to moment.

Being one who is an octogenarian, I confront myself with the reality that I have only few more years to live. Believing only God knows what lies ahead, I developed more my trust in the Lord. As a consequence, I must give meaning to life from day to day. Letting every day be lived as if it were the last day of my life.

My need to trust in the Lord started in my consciousness when I was expecting an operation of appendectomy at age eleven. Young as I was from a town and have no knowledge whatsoever of operation including the effect of anesthesia, I have to trust the Lord. At that age, I was already a member of the religious organization, Children of Mary, hence was already taught how to pray. At that time, we were cleaning the altar every week prior to the Sunday masses.

What I remember vividly was my promise that if I live after operation, I will continue to serve the Lord. In fact, when I am made to remember my childhood in retreats, I remember this promise and I say to myself it is then no wonder I am in service especially in the church in fulfilment of the promise I made.

The dawn prayer made me deepen my trust in the Lord for the intentions of my family and others who are in need. Then came this recent incident when I decided to have my two eye-cataract operations. The operation is described by the doctors and those who were operated already to be painless and short. True indeed! Until I was wheeled to the operating room, I still had some fears. Even when I was praying, the fear was still there. When I was wheeled in the operating room for the operation of the left eye, an insight flashed in my mind.

Dear Lord. You have given the grace to some people like the ophthalmologists. Why should I not trust You in giving them the skills? Let me then entrust myself to You through them. Then I became unconscious. After less than thirty minutes, I woke up with my left eye patched, not even feeling groggy.

It was quite an expensive way to deepen my trust in the Lord. Then came the second eye operation. I still cannot claim the fear has gone. With God’s grace, I remembered a similar experience of trusting God in others. Lately, for the last two years, I had been flying to meetings almost every month. Before these years, I had some fear of flying. However, since the purpose of the frequent flights were meetings for service, I tried to overcome the fear. I give thanks to the Lord for the skills of the pilots and would thank the stewards/stewardesses and the pilots when I disembark especially when the landing is smooth. In the plane or when I hear the plane on air, I pray for the safety of all aboard and thank God for the skills of the pilots and steward/stewardesses.

Dear Lord, as You gave to the pilots their expertise, please guide again the doctors as they perform the operation on my right eye. I trust in You. I trust in your gift to other persons.

The operation went on smoothly and it was short. My anesthesia was less, hence I heard the conversation.

Thank you doctors and pilots for using your skills to serve us. And to the Lord, my endless thanks. May I serve You Lord more for your glory and honor for the rest of this life.