Senior Citizens Corner

1. Observe

If a parent talks about the same thing again and again or forgets conversations you recently had, investigate. Parents may have difficulty in making decisions, so tell all your brothers and sisters. Don’t involve in-laws.

2. Pointers

Preserve the dignity of your parents. Don’t just barge in and take over. One way is to suggest that you take over one of their financial responsibilities (paying light, water, phone bills) so they have more time to do what they enjoy. For each responsibility you take away, suggest it with an enjoyable activity – weekly lunch – and do not take all the responsibilities at the same time. Tell them you want to protect them from financial scams (‘double-your-money’, Yamashita’s treasure, etc.). By going through their mail (bills, ads), look for check or credit card charges to charitable, fake groups because some parents are either naïve or vulnerable to sad stories.

3. Money

Offer to help them make a spending plan. Don’t use the word “budget” they’ll get insulted. This will let you know how much SSS or GSIS or annuity insurance funds come in and how they spend it. If they have trouble managing their finances, limit their access to cash. Try to have access to your parents’ checking account and limit the money in it by regularly moving the fund to a savings account. In case of out of control spending, think of giving them a second credit card which allows them to make a deposit that becomes their credit limit and cancel all other credit/membership cards.

4. Papa takes a bath, haircut, massage, smells looks good and act groovy every day.

Ikaduhang Paraluman! If a widower, trouble. If mama is alive, it’s panic time. Get Papa’s bank accounts, and credit cards. Call all brothers and sisters and agree on what to do. Never confront your widower Papa. And if Mama is alive, all must agree on how to tell her and who should talk to her.

Q. Why not leave Papa alone?
A. If a widower, you owe it to your dead mother. If Mama is alive, you’ll be guilty of omission by not telling her. In both cases, doing nothing is bad. “Old carabao eat young grass.” “Spring chicken can hasten death of an ancient rooster.” “December – May relationship increases risk of Alzheimer/Dementia.” Tell all brothers and sisters about the problem and what to do.

5. Authorizations

One or some should have a power of attorney to manage the money affairs of your parents. It’s too late if one or both of them have alzheimer’s, amnesia, or unconscious in the ICU. The document should limit power to the atty-in-fact from changing the beneficiary designations on life insurance policies and making him (atty-in-fact) liable for contracts he (the atty-in-fact) may make which turned out to be bad for your parents. There should also be a health care proxy. This way you get authority to make medical decisions for them when they can no longer decide, but all your brothers and sister should know you have this document.