Testing my Adversity Quotient

One Saturday afternoon, at the height of the COVID-19 pandemic, I heard someone in distress while knocking at the gate and calling our attention; our elderly gardener, Pipo, met an accident. Triggered by an adrenaline rush, I proceeded to the scene and witnessed the poor guy sitting on a pavement with blood stains on his shirt and surrounded by some people from the neighborhood. According to the witness, Pipo fell in the drainage canal while he was about to attend to the call of nature; he slipped off and a portion of his head bumped to a rough surface which resulted to a deep abrasion, about an inch above his right eye. Nonetheless, I felt a little relieved when I noticed that an ambulance arrived, with nursing attendants giving him first aid. However, one of the first aiders turned to me and recommended to bring Pipo to a hospital to stitch his wounds and further verify if he has not suffered any head injury.

I was indecisive at that moment, as I was deeply bothered about the mighty chance of getting infected with COVID if I will bring Pipo to the hospital. Moreover, hospitals have very stringent and hassle COVID-19 protocols, not to mention the costly hospital charges. I began to feel very unlucky as to why this incident happened while he is working for us; we now already have the moral obligation to attend to his concern.

“Which hospital, Sir?” the attendant broke my train of thought. Still indecisive, selfish thoughts ran into my mind—“I don’t want to risk myself and family’s safety for this old man. I do not want to take the risk of entering the hospital and be COVID-19 positive later.” However, I recognized the need to have his wounds treated and stitched, so we made a move to the hospital.

While they were transferring Pipo inside the ambulance, I can hear him saying, “Okay lang lagi ko. Mouli lang ko.” (I am just okay. I just need to go home.) Despite his insistence, I heeded to the professional’s advice and followed the ambulance with my wife. Still not wanting to go to the hospital, I pushed my luck and suggested going to the nearest lying-in clinic to have his wounds treated.

“Why in the lying-in clinic?” my wife asked. I explained to her my bizarre reasoning—that if midwives can perform perineal repairs for mothers after childbirth, most certainly they can stitch a less complicated wound like Pipo’s. However, the clinic in-charge strongly declined my request and so we ultimately proceeded to the hospital.

While driving, I recalled the life of Pipo. He started out as a janitor for a government agency but when he retired, he started accepting tasks like gardening and house cleaning in order to sustain his daily needs. He is known around the subdivision for his services and so, he is doing his tasks in different houses every week. Using his second-hand pink bike, he used to peddle around 20 kilometers from his home to the subdivision, and back. I also heard that during his younger years, he used to squander his money on alcoholic beverages and had various relationships with younger women, which made his wife leave him. I told to myself that his fate, really, was a product of his past decisions in life.

Upon arriving at the emergency room, we sought the help of my in-laws to locate Pipo’s family and to inform them about the incident. After two hours of waiting, my mother-in-law contacted me that they finally found Pipo’s house but no one is interested about what happened to him. It was then that I realized the tragic life he is leading.

Maria, whom Pipo claimed as his second wife, is also separated from her former husband. She lives with Pipo and her children under one roof. Maria’s children seemingly give Pipo the cold shoulder and I surmise that Maria is only clinging to the relationship for economic reasons, as she herself was a former labandera but now unemployed due to bouts of arthritis.

When asked if who from Pipo’s family will look after him in the hospital, all of them gave their excuses on not being able to do so. Maria’s eldest child said that he is unavailable because he has a prior appointment. Maria said she could not go due to her arthritis which limits her movements. They then volunteered their absent relative to look after him, and my mother-in-law provided them money for transportation.

It was a good thing that Pipo was allowed to be treated in the hospital alone, while I was outside waiting for his family member to arrive. After many hours of waiting, night fell and the operation was finished; the doctor did not find any serious injury. We are all happy about the result, but we are saddened that nobody from his family has come to check his condition, despite the provisions given to them.

This incident has truly tested my ability to respond to difficulty, which provided me opportunity to learn and reflect. These realizations are:

• Having a quality time with the family is more than a blessing. I am reminded to think carefully every time I am tempted to say “I am very busy” to my loved ones. There are people in the margins of society and they cannot even attend to their own because they must struggle to meet their sustenance every day. The life of Pipo, for example, represents the marginalized people who do not have time to express their struggles because they are too busy working just to make ends meet; they do not even have time to reflect and talk.
• Our selfish ways cripple us as we make our choices in life. The choice to love, for example, challenges us to go beyond filia (friendship) and eros (passionate) types of love. We are called to choose agape (unconditional) and go beyond our love for our friends, family members and with our passion towards personal ambition, by showing the act of love that Christ is asking from us – Unconditional love.

(Francis Manayan)