Hey woman, go easy on yourself

Women all over the world are surrounded with prejudices. We have to be independent and stand on our own, we shouldn’t be too clingy nor too emotional but still be able to express ourselves. No one likes us when we’re too fat, too thin, too intelligent or too much of a smart mouth or that we’re just too successful in life. Some also have this notion that once we cannot procreate, our value lessens. Women have been so limited due to the culture that we have been brought up in. Meryl Streep in an interview once said that she struggled in transitioning from her lead roles to mom roles because of her age. Society has this standard that lessens our value when we reach a certain age. Filipino women especially are pressured by this reality and even more we are tied up and are expected to be married before our 30’s. I personally am not married and have been bothered by so many. It’s like being single is always because we do not have a choice or that we are unwanted.

Amidst all these norms and standards, how do we cope up and not lessen our self value? We’d like to go back to the basics, we look at ourselves and appreciate what we can do or cannot. What we are and are not. By knowing who we truly are, we increase our self awareness and we learn and unlearn habits which put us down. We are women and we have remarkably developed. Gone are the days when women are raised to only become ingenious and talented wives who can serve and submit to their husbands. Our value is not measured by what we can give but by how we live.

Since we are about to celebrate International Women’s day on March 8th. We’d like to know what is significant about it and when it started. In Europe, Clara Zetkin, a German Marxist theorist and an advocate for women’s rights together with the Socialist Women’s International demanded that March 8th be the International Women’s Day, celebrated each year to recognize working women around the world. The celebration of IWD since then has stimulated major historical events. Here in the Philippines, the late President Corazon Aquino signed Proclamation No. 224 in 1988, declaring the first week of March as Women’s Week and March 8 and every year thereafter as women’s rights and international peace day which affirmed our solidarity with the United Nations recognizing women’s contribution in the struggle for national independence, civil liberties, equality and human rights.

Why is it so much of a big deal, you ask? Because in the past we didn’t have a voice. We were nobody but look at us today, we are empowered, we are leading and winning in all aspects whether in politics, sports, religion or medicine.

However, during this pandemic, our world has been inside this metaverse that we call and everything we see is not always what it seems. Social media apps have hilarious and total catfishing filters which women tend to use to change and somehow improve their physical appearance; resulting in self-loathing, low self-esteem and self-doubt. We want to portray ourselves as perfect, flawless and we hate to see our imperfections resulting in anxiety and depression. What happened to us? It seems that we have lost something good. We once again allowed society to dictate us on how we should be, how we should look like, how we should live.

As we celebrate international women’s day, we’d like to give ourselves some boost. We go back to realizing how we impact society, how important we are and what power we have which we share to the world.

Can’t think of anything? How about that we are born with pain built-in? It’s our physical destiny; period pains, childbirth, we carry (it) within ourselves throughout our lives, men don’t, they have to seek it out. We have it all going on inside, we have pain on a cycle and we endure it, we live through it. This is what writer Niya Paaru said and it’s just beautiful, this capability that we have and only we can do. Just thinking about it, there’s so much wonder and mystery that we bring to the world and that is one way to think good about ourselves that only we, women can do.

If we’re still a little bit rough on ourselves and can’t seem to find the good, how about looking at some of the greatest women of all time. We, as ordinary people, like to choose our role models. Some of them may be actresses, prominent women in society, legislators, artists and maybe some local heroes. But have we thought what they all have in common? REALNESS. One hundred percent realness. They have revealed their innermost selves and were not frightened to be rejected nor bashed.

Being able to do the simplest things may not be so simple at all; we are puzzle pieces that bring together a masterpiece, that which is God’s plan. So do not sulk if you don’t live up to the standards of the world. Just do what you can and learn what you cannot. Be as unique as you can be because no woman in the world can be you. (Tine Camus)