Motherhood: The Birth of a Child and The Birth of a Mom

(Beginning today until the end of September, the Davao Catholic Herald brings you a series of personal essays on Motherhood as our tribute to Mary, the Blessed Mother.)

“The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new.” — Osho

Becoming a mother is one of the most powerful experiences life has to offer to any woman and it is one of the most magical things that has ever happened to me. I was already 42 years old when I found out that I was pregnant. When the pregnancy and ultrasound tests confirmed heartbeat inside my womb, I broke into tears, feeling so ever grateful to God for giving me this wonderful gift. It was so surreal that even up to the day that I was about to give birth, I doubted if I would be able to fulfill my duties and be a good mom.

January 11, 2020, I gave birth to a handsome baby boy. The reality dawned on me and I couldn’t believe that I was really a mom now and one day this little boy will call me “Mommy”. Ever since that day, I came to understand that this amazing journey has been all about giving everything I’ve got and receiving all the goodness that results from those efforts. It’s a thankless job that is rewarded with priceless moments that is filled with the special bond with my son that has given a very different meaning and purpose to my life. I remember a friend telling me that being a mother doesn’t get any easier, you just become better at it.

One of the most unforgettable experiences I’ve had with Veda was when we had to rush him to the hospital and had him operated on due to an Inguinal Hernia. He was just a tiny baby barely two months old at that time. The experience was so grueling and heartbreaking because the surgeon told us that he had to be operated under general anesthesia. My husband and I wept buckets of tears in the midst of anxiety, praying to God that the operation would go well, knowing that with the procedure came a lot of risks. Thankfully, Veda survived the operation. Then, the pandemic came. We had to go to my husband’s province to seek refuge for safety knowing that Veda also needed to recover from the operation.

So from Quezon City, we travelled to La Union, which is the home province of my husband. I had to stay home and take care of Veda full time on my own because we preferred not to have house help. Fortunately, Veda is a good sleeper at night. By three months old, he was able to sleep through the night, sparing me from the torture of not getting to sleep at night, as shared by other moms I know. I would breastfeed him during the day, on demand, but still prepare formula milk during the times that I would do house chores.

Realistically speaking, motherhood is the most difficult job you will ever have in life, by far. Being a mother is not all roses. The physical act alone of giving birth is a difficult one. There are a lot of losses involved in becoming a mother: loss of what you thought your body was (it will forever be changed); loss of self, and loss of your life as you once thought it to be.

I learned and I am continuously learning that becoming a new mom is filled with uncertainty and self-doubt. Being a mom does not come with a manual. It’s not rocket science also as your gut instinct will teach you and urge you to do what you have to do as a Mom. It’s exhausting and sometimes it’s filled with wonder, if you are doing the right thing, of regrets of handling certain situations in a manner that you wish you’d handled differently. In spite of it all, rising to meet the challenges of this complex relationship is one that can never be replaced or repeated. It is full of joy, unexpected rewards, and most importantly, love.

To be a “mother” is to take on the responsibilities of another being as one’s own. To be blessed with someone so special that they inspire you to become a better person. No matter if you gave birth biologically or not, to be a mother means that you put before yourself the needs of another. The true meaning of motherhood is so much more than just the act of giving birth.

Motherhood, as I have come to appreciate it, remains perhaps the most powerful nurturing experience any living being can have and all of it is because of unconditional love. (Jeanne Marie “Jem” Ciño-Martinez, DMD FPFA FICD)

(Dr. Jem Martinez is practicing pediatric dentist with 22 years of experience in the field of dentistry. She is a lecturer and member of the speaker’s bureau of the Philippine Dental Association. She is a past president of the PDA-San Juan City Chapter and an active member of the Philippine Pediatric Dental Society, Inc.)