Gugma o Pagtoo?

Dear Ate Emz,

Ako si Joana. Ako ug akong friends mitambong sa usa ka gathering kani-adto sa wala pa nagkapandemya. Birthday kadto sa usa sa among classmate sa high school. Sadya kaayo mi kay dunay mga pa games, kantahan ug unli kwentuhan. Kadto nga higayon akong nakaila si Bong, usa sa mga bisita nga family friend sa akong classmate nga nagsaulog sa iyang adlawng natawhan.

Gaan akong loob kay Bong tungod sa iyang pagka gentleman. Wala siya nagpakita og mga gestures nga dili nako maangayan. Wala ma dugay nagbaylohanay mi og number nga aron kuno duna siyay contact nako. Napansin sa usa sa akong friend nga lahi akong pagtagad nganha kang Bong kay daw murag dugay na mi nga maghigalaay. Aminon ko Ate Emz nahulog akong loob sa iyaha apan dunay babag ug kabala kay si Bong lahi man ang relihiyon.

Sa mga nanglabayng panahon mi contact si Bong ug nangumusta. Nanghangyo nga mag date kuno mi apan ako nagduha-duha kay kung basin musamot ang akong gusto kaniya. Sa akong kahadlok ako siyang gibalibaran kay basin muabot ang higayon nga mahimong komplikado ang tanan tungod dili mi pareho ug relihiyon.

Hangtud karon nagpadayun gihapun si Bong og communicate nako nga kuno willing siya magpa-abot kung kanus-a nako siya sugton.

Salamat Ate Emz.

Joana

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Dear Joana,

Many times a friendship steps up into having special feelings for someone in particular, and when nurtured, further deepens as indicators of falling in love start to emerge. At this point one may be confronted with making a choice, whether or not to allow more opportunities of getting to know each other, to advance.

At this early stage of your friendship, as you acknowledge your growing affection for Bong, you have identified one hindrance for your relationship to progress, and this is RELIGION. In a situation like this, you really need time and space to discern and pray. In the process you may ask yourself, is the SAME RELIGION as yours ESSENTIAL to your relationship or is it a PREFERENCE? If ESSENTIAL, it implies that this is non-negotiable for you, hence, an outright rejection for the relationship to step up. However, if this is a PREFERENCE, then it may be acceptable for you and some compromises may be agreed upon.

Based on your refusal of Bong’s invitation for a date due to fear that you will “fall for him all the more”, it seems to indicate that religion is a big deal on your part, and might pose problems should you decide to pursue an exclusive relationship with him.

This does not mean, however, that you have to reject the person of Bong. You can still remain friends. Re-direct and nurture a meaningful friendship, still with the love and care in a different dimension. I have witnessed many cases where two people who could not be “lovers” remained as friends. In fact, they became better off as friends and still maintained healthy relationships.

If Bong still awaits a response from you, it’s your choice between ESSENTIAL OR PREFERENCE.

God bless you more.

Ate Emz