Love in the Time of Covid

(This piece was delivered by the writer as his eulogy/reflection during the 9th day novena for his late mother, Josefa Fe “Jessie” Villafuerte Escario, last April 14, 2021 at the San Pablo Parish Church, Davao City.)

To paraphrase the title of a novel by Gabriel Garcia Marquez, this is Love in The Time of Covid. Mom, of course, did not die of Covid-19. She died of Cancer. But Mom died in the midst of this Covid pandemic; and, perhaps, there are those of you who might be wondering what it is like for a child, a son or a daughter, to lose a parent, a mother, a mother like Mommy Jessie at that, in the time of Covid.

Let me begin by saying that if I were given the chance to rewind the hands of time and give up all the countless hosting jobs and speaking engagements I’ve had the privilege to have in the last 30 years — I would gladly do so. I would gladly give them all up just so I couldn’t – just so I wouldn’t — be here today, just so I wouldn’t be in the here and the now — because there couldn’t be any lonelier and sadder experience for a son, or for a daughter for that matter, than to eulogize his mother, a mother like Mommy Jessie at that, in a nearly empty Church, away from home, away from the comforting physical presence of family and friends; away from the safe and secure confines of familiar surroundings; away from getting a pat on the back, a tight hug, or a tearful embrace; away from spoken words of support and love; away from everything that under normal circumstances would have been our source of strength and our anchor of hope during this most difficult time.

All because of Covid.

Remembering how Mom was such a survivor despite the many storms she had to weather in her life makes me reflect deeper and know with unequivocal certainty that amidst all this pain and grief and sorrow, Mom would still want us to see the silver lining, to view life always with hope, with faith and with gratitude.

And so I thank of Covid.

I thank Covid for making us rediscover the wonderful gift of family. Like all other families, ours has its fair share of burdens. We have our struggles. We have our difficulties. We have our challenges. But all these are foreshadowed by what we have been gifted with. Family. Togetherness. Together in pain and grief. Together in loneliness and in longing. Together in regret and remorse. But also together in hope, together in Faith. Together in Strength. Together in Love. Thank you Covid for bringing us back to our roots. To our family. To our Togetherness.

I also thank Covid for Silence. The silence of our quarantined lives led us to rediscover the silence of ourselves, the silence of our hearts. And in that silence, we remember. We remember what Mom was like as a mother to us her children, as a grandmother to Sofia, as a sister to her siblings, as an aunt to her many nephews and nieces, as a friend, as a work colleague. We remember her selfless devotion, her fierce protectiveness, her undying loyalty, her unconditional love. Above all, in the silence of Covid, we remember what Mom lived her life for — giving her all as her act and covenant of love.

I also thank Covid for the gift of Prayer. In the days that followed after we were given the news that Mom had Stage 4 Cancer, we prayed like we never prayed in our lives before. We cried to the heavens. We begged for mercy. We made deals with God. We called on all the saints, the martyrs, the apostles and the angels. We demanded a miracle. And God answered our prayers. Not by extending Mom’s life like we begged for. Not by giving us more time with her like we cried for. But by allowing us to be here today, right at this very moment, to celebrate the memory of her life – a life well-lived and a life well-loved. The answer to our prayer is in the miracle of today: that we not only remember and recall but that we also relearn and relive all the goodness and love that Mom has left behind.

Till the very end, till her last dying breaths, Mom never left us. Not for a moment. She had received the Sacrament of Penance and the Holy Church’s last rites; each of us her children had the chance to individually spend our last moments with her; as a family, we were not only able to pray for Mom but with Mom. All these despite the strict protocols of Covid. We are therefore grateful. Grateful for the gift of family. Grateful for the gift of Silence. Grateful for the Gift of Prayer.

To all of you – our family, our friends, our colleagues, our former neighbors, our former schoolmates and classmates; to Mom’s amazing doctors, nurses and caregivers; to all those who have sent financial assistance, condoled with us through messages of love and support, who sent us mass cards and flowers, who offered masses in Cebu, Manila, Argao, Bantayan, Davao and elsewhere, who comforted us through text messages and social media, to the clergy and the religious sisters and pious readers, — to all of you who have opened the doors of your homes and the doors of your hearts to welcome Mom, to all of you who have touched Mom and made her the extraordinary person that she was — THANK YOU!!! Know that in this time of Covid, losing Mom has not been a lonely journey. Instead it has been a journey of rediscovery, of reconnecting and of remembering.

With Mom’s passing, a new beginning dawns. And in this new beginning, may you all still remain with us. Until our time comes to be with Mom again.

Above all, we thank God, the Source and Giver of Life. For giving us Mom who loved us till her very last breath and who taught and showed us the real meaning of Love not only in the time of Covid but at all times.

Goodbye, Mom. WE LOVE YOU VERY MUCH!!!

(Vince Villafuerte Escario is a former opinion columnist and lifestyle writer of The Freeman Newspaper and former editor of the The Freeman Sunday Magazine. He is currently doing volunteer editorial work for the Davao Catholic Herald. Email: vgvestreet@gmail.com.)