Is COVID Real?

There are those who believe Covid is unreal. Roel A. Sinfuego shares this gripping testimony of his bout with the deadly virus that almost snuffed out his life but, in the end, gave it back to him with a powerful realization of God’s love and compassion.

“Is Covid real?” More than a year into this pandemic, many still ask this question. This story is about my fight with the dreaded disease. And I share this in the hope that those who still stubbornly believe that Covid is just some “imagined” virus sowing fear in the public’s mind may realize the painful truth of this silent but deadly enemy.

It was December 8, 2020, the Feast of the Immaculate Conception, when I was admitted for and diagnosed with Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome Coronavirus 2 (SARVS-CoV-2). This was a confusing moment. My first RT-PCR test turned out to be negative but the second one came out positive. I was in denial despite having the tell-tale symptoms of headache, high fever, loss of smell and taste, difficulty breathing and occasional cough. Worse, a CT scan revealed that I had pneumonia.

My wife and I had to painfully part ways at the emergency room when an attendant in full PPE gear fetched me. I was immediately whisked into a tented quarantine area with a capacity of 10 patients and where watchers were allowed to stay. The quarantine area was covered with just one evaporative fan and I had to change my sando because of profuse sweating from the sweltering heat. I was alarmed that watchers were allowed to eat inside the tent and I thought of the risk of them also contracting the virus. My wife was just outside and on-call for whatever things I needed. She was afraid to go home and that she might not attend to my needs because the police had cordoned off the perimeter of our house and our children were also under quarantine. At night, my wife needed a place to nap and she thought of either going to the church and even inside the hospital emergency room. All I could think of were my wife’s health, my children’s needs and the financial burden my condition would entail.

My first night was boggling. I was sleepless. I started to question why I had to go through such an ordeal. It was midnight when the nurse gave my oxygen as my level was quite low. Anxiety and fear enveloped me; and expecting the worse to come, I tried to breathe deeply. I noticed there seemed to be no air and oxygen was not coming out. I had difficulty of breathing. And panic attack was setting. Luckily, the attending nurse appeared and immediately fixed the problem.

I tried to calm down by reminiscing all the wonderful things that had happened in my past. “Oh, my God!” I begged. I prayed hard. “I have a lot of unfinished work to do,” I cried to the Lord. All thoughts of my wife and my 3 children I painfully surrendered to His will. The Lord must have heard the cry of His poor servant because I stayed awake that night. I stayed inside the tent for three long days and nights and I had to endure the ordeal of sweating profusely due to the heat.

I was so grateful that my family tested negative in their swab test. That became an instant psychological relief. Moreover, I was granted priority to transfer to a much comfortable room upon the request of my eldest daughter, a hospital pharmacist. For the rest of my 21- day quarantine I was to stay in what I considered as “heaven”. My room was on the 5th floor and fully furnished. The room was covered with a glass window and the silence was deafening. Out of nowhere, I heard a clear whispering voice: “Kneel before me, for this is Holy Ground.” I knelt and cried, “My Lord and My God!” I prayed and thanked him for keeping me alive.

Music lightened my burden. There was this song whose lyrics clearly spoke of the Lord’s message for me. Pictures of my family flashed through my mind. There was so much pain of un-forgiveness. The Lord showed it all as every detail was flashed before me. I heard His voice saying, “Forgive and you shall be forgiven”. I cried and released all the pain and asked the Lord, “Is this the end of it?”

I bargained for more precious time. Life is a gift. The Lord gives and the Lord takes. Morning came and I called and chatted with every person I needed to ask forgiveness from. I also needed to bless them with my forgiveness. It was a hard and awkward task. It took a lot of emotion to find the right words but the Holy Spirit was there to guide me. It was a very warm, refreshing experience, unloading all the burden in me.

Two intern doctors regularly checked on my health status. Several times I asked them if I could be allowed to go home since I had already spent more than two weeks in the hospital. Christmas was fast approaching and I wanted to spend it at home with my family. They gave me only one option – that I could be transferred to other facilities; but I declined and decided to stay in the hospital. Nurses and attendants would often visit from time to time and I was grateful that they were there to hear my stories. They were allowed to stay for a couple of minutes but, surprisingly, some of them stayed even longer. I would share with them some of my daily reflections without noticing how much time had gone by.

It was Christmas Eve. I was still at the hospital and a little downhearted but I was able to chat with my wife and my family and we had our Christmas meal together through a video call. I led the prayer of thanksgiving and tried to compose myself not wanting to become so emotional. I told my family that my “laya” (my term for getting out of the hospital) would be on December 30 and that I will be spending New Year’s with them.

My stay in the hospital became a retreat, an introspection. It was unforgettable.

I am a living survivor of Covid-19. And a living witness of God’s immeasurable love! (Roel A. Sinfuego)

(Roel Antonio Sinfuego is a professor at the University of Southeastern Philippines. He Finished his MAEd Teaching Science at the University of Mindanao and is currently a CHED Scholar finishing his Ph.D in Science Education at the Notre Dame of Dadiangas.)