Amoris Laetitia: The Spirituality of Living the Mission of Loving Service

Reflection on Chapter 10, Amoris Laetitia,” The Spirituality of Marriage and Family”

What does Pope Francis’ apostolic exhortation, “Amoris Laetitia” (Joy of Love), say about marriage as a vocation for mission? First, the document affirms what has been said in previous papal documents on marriage and family life with emphasis on the present situation and circumstances faced by many married couples and families throughout the world. Secondly, Pope Francis approached it with pastoral perspective and practical tips on how married couples grow in their vocation and mission today.

Take for example, the last chapter in the Joy of Love, “The Spirituality of Marriage and Family”. This chapter pulls out many themes from the previous chapters and other church documents on marriage. Moreover, Pope Francis summarizes them and presents an extended reflection of marriage and family life on a mission. There are three themes which exemplify the Pope’s argument.

1. Marriage and family life is a true and valid way to God.
   Spirituality is living a particular way of life based on one’s spiritual purpose and orientation. Unless recently, this has been seen in those who enter religious or priestly life or doing certain religious devotion and practices. Marriage is a vocation and living this vocation embraces its spirituality. Pope Francis reminds in this chapter that all the pains of family life, small and great are true sharing in the cross of Christ. All the joys and pleasures of marriage and family life are true sharing in the power of Christ’s resurrection. Pope Francis affirms that family is the path that the Lord uses to lead most Christians to mystical union with Him.
2. Spouses belong entirely to each other—yet belong even more to the Lord!
   Each married couples give themselves to one another exclusively for life. They lovingly accept the challenge of growing old together and supporting one another. Conjugal love can do no less, as “person who can’t choose to love forever can hardly love for even a single day.” However, there comes a point that when each spouse realizes that the other is not ultimately his or her won but has a far greater Master, the Lord. Only God can be the ultimate center of each person’s life. Accordingly, even the most committed and loving spouse cannot satisfy all the needs of the other spouse. This realization can lead to a healthy “disillusionment” which in fact, an invitation to the couple to place their trust ultimately in the Lord.
3. The family is the first “hospital” and the beginning of mission.
   The Lord calls married couples to bestow life and to care for life. Accordingly, the family has always been the first and nearest “hospital”. It is in family that gifts are first recognized and nurtured and that needs and limitations are first seen and met. Each family member encounters his or her own limitations and learns to have compassion ion the limitations and needs of others. Family life calls for “shepherding of mercy”, where each member merits our complete attention as child of God. Having become, then, a “hospital” and a “school of mercy “for its own members, the Christian family led by the Spirit, spreads life by caring for others and seeking their happiness. This done in a powerful way through hospitality—especially when a family welcomes the poor and neglected and embraces them with its love. When a family embraces its vocation as a “fisher of persons” in this way, then the children can more easily hear the Lord’s call to each of them.

Pope Francis ends this chapter with one final point. No family is perfect or fully formed. Families always need to grow and mature in their ability to love. Moreover, family members need not demand of each other a “perfection, a purity of intentions, and a consistency which we only encounter in the Kingdom to come”. This realization will help us not to judge harshly those who live in “situations of frailty”. For we are all weak, and in need of the Lord’s merciful love every day.

As a chaplain of the Marriage Encounter Peter-Series Community, a Catholic movement of married couples and their families, I understand much of what the Pope has to say on this theme of marriage spirituality and mission. In Marriage Encounter, couples come together to listen, reflect, and share to each other and discover each other’s insights about the meaning of their journey. They learn from each other’s failures and flaws and recognize the strength of their love to mend their differences in an open and respectful dialogue. Moreover, they discover how the Lord has been their companion, guide and savior. Many couples in the Community are witnesses of a merciful and loving Lord who does help but also calls them to be helpful. Thus, the community of gifted couples started to give to other couples the support and assistance to many couples in need or in crisis. Indeed, a spirituality of mission for renewal of marriage and family life!

(Rev. Fr. Archimedes A. Lachica, S.J. is a chaplain of the Marriage Encounter-Peter Series (Davao) and is a faculty member of the Ateneo de Davao University.)