Give us this day

It seems that fear reigns these days. As fear feeds on itself, it mutates into anger, unrest, then into violence. We see these in America.

Fear, too, leads people to hide and escape because of Covid-19. Fear of the expenses, testing, medical procedures and death is the situation in 3rd world countries like the Philippines.

In these pandemic times, death also surrounds us. Physical death due to the viral infection. In my heart, psychological “death” when I myself feed my fears with unsubstantiated reports, emotional “death” when I choose judgmental rage over forgiveness, spiritual “death” if I will accept and be content with this “new normal” without the actual Holy Mass and The Blessed Eucharist.

These present realities bring me back to when my husband was dying with cancer. The same helplessness filled my heart.

My husband and I prayed as a couple. One time, he could not remember the OUR FATHER. He just stared blankly as I led the prayer. Sprawled on the floor, in anguished cries, I repeatedly punched my thighs till they were black and blue. My mother-in-law embraced me and prayed.

Prayer has been my refuge, then and now.

My heart always remembers that I forever have SOMEONE WHO waits, listens, consoles, hides me in times of trouble.

Time on my hands gave me this prayer-prose in memory of my struggle with the big C cancer, WHO has become my Big CHRIST.

And for the prevailing now.

BIGYAN MO KAMI… SA ARAW ARAW
Pahingi ng umaga,
mahal kong HESUS
Ilakad MO ako,
upang makaraos
Ang araw na gawa,
mapa’SAYO nawa
Mapapanatag puso, hanggang pagdilim
Na sa pagsapit ng gabi,
IKAW pa rin ang KATABI.

TO GOD BE ALL GLORY FOREVER!

(Bella A. Sarenas, Caregiver, AMUMA Cancer Support Group Foundation, Inc.)