Experiencing SepAnx

Have you experienced SepAnx or Separation Anxiety? As for me I experienced it many times in my life. But first let us define SepAnx, as posted in Medical News Today, its definition of separation anxiety is when someone is afraid of being separated from a particular person, persons, or even a pet. While many people associate separation anxiety with children, adults can experience the condition as well. A person develops extreme anxiety as a result of the separation.

My latest SepAnx experienced was last November 9 (Saturday), 2019 when my eldest daughter, a 20-year-old 2nd year college student in one of the government universities here in Davao City went to Tagum, Davao del Norte along with her groupmates (20 students) to comply a requirement in their Lifes and Works of Rizal subject. The venue was in Tagum for one of the groupmates live there and their house resembles the era when Rizal was still alive. The project is to make a five minute video about Rizal’s life.

So, Friday came, a day before my daughter will supposedly depart in the wee hours (3:30 am) come Saturday morning for Tagum. Their groupmates where supposed to meet at Ecoland Terminal at 4am so that they could depart for Tagum around 4:30 am and arrive there for them to shoot the whole day and go home or bound for Davao City on or before 5 pm.

The stage mother that I am was so concerned for my daughter’s supposed well-being in Tagum. The concern was just an excuse of my separation anxiety for I’m afraid that something bad will happen to her for its her first time to commute by bus outside the city without me or any members of our family. I was also privy on the things she was to bring with her. No matter how my daughter told me that all will be okay I still insist to remind her on things what to watch out for when one is travelling.

Saturday morning came, my mother who is an early riser, volunteered the night before to accompany my daughter from our home via taxi service towards Ecoland terminal. I also woke up at around 3am and the one who called up the taxi making sure what company and its body number. Off my mother and daughter went to the terminal. As I am about to go back to sleep I prayed hard to God and invoked Mama Mary’s intercession for the safety of my daughter.

Then, when I woke up around 6 am I immediately checked my cellphone if my daughter texted me about her whereabouts but there was none. Fear was eating me up. However later that morning I received a text message from her that they arrived in the house of her classmate in San Miguel, Tagum. I was so thankful to God for her safety. Though, I still could not help but to be anxious of our separation throughout the day checking every now and then if there is a call or a text message from my daughter. I was glad despite my anxiety my daughter is considerate enough to make a text telling me she just finished doing a scene for their project every now and then. By the way she had two roles in the said short film, that of the mother of Jose Rizal and one of his girlfriends (Segunda Katigbak). All’s well that ends well by 5:30 pm she texted me that they’re on the way to Davao already. After which, I started my Rosary where I invoked Mama Mary’s intercession for thanksgiving and her safe journey towards home. It was such a relief at around past 8 in the evening when I saw my daughter entered our home scratch free.

In reflection, I prayed so hard that day but I failed to trust God fully for the safety of my daughter. Maybe because as a mother we can’t help but be concerned on the welfare of our children.

As for me, my separation anxiety stemmed from my past experiences of being afraid to be separated from any member of my family, friends and special someone. My first SepAnx was when we were young, our father left us for he has another family. All I did when it happened was to cry myself to sleep at night wishing my father will come back and live with us again. When I was in college a good friend of mine died of drowning, I mourned that incident. On the other hand, another special friend of mine whom I thought would be the one, left me for his choice of vocation. Then, came my one true love, my husband who sadly passed away due to health problems, it pains me but was able to accept God’s will. With all those separations experienced I cried buckets of tears and thanked God because with the help of family and friends I survived those ordeals in my life. Losing someone is not that easy so I hope to break the pattern. By doing so, thus I end up having SepAnx, instead.

For future incidents that may require me to be separated from my family and friends I hope to depend on God for strength and assurance that all will be well. Below is a prayer entitled “Walk by My Side, God” from the booklet Prayers for Good Times and Bad that I hope may help us in facing separation anxiety:

“Lord, my steps falter when I am faced with hard times. Sometimes it is easy to forget that your footprints follow next to me in silent support, no matter how hazardous a path I must tread. Thank you God, for that support. Teach me again and again to trust in you with each challenge I face. Be my constant companion as I walk the path you set before me, in love.”

Amen.

“Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be.” – Sonia Ricotti