Best friend trials

Dear KNOT,

Mayroon po akong isang kaibigan na masasabi ko na isa sa pinakamatulungin kong kaibigan. Kahit anong problema ko, nahahanapan niya po ito ng solusyon. Ang gaan-gaan ng aking pakiramdam kapag siya ang kasama ko dahil napapawi talaga ang aking lumbay, at alam ko na kapag kasama ko siya, walang problema.

Ako si Albert. Isang graduating student. Best friend ko si Jake, kaklase ko.

Ngayon, si Jake po ay mayroong problema. Naghiwalay po ang kaniyang mga magulang, at ang kanyang nakakatandang kapatid na babae ay nagtangkang magpakamatay. Hindi ko lubos maisip kung ano ang pinagdadaanan ngayon ni Jake. Pinapawi niya ang aking mga lumbay at sinusolusyonan ang aking mga problema, ngunit ngayon na siya naman ang may problema, nanliit ako sa sarili ko. Ano ba ang silbi kong kaibigan? Hindi ko po ma-reciprocate ang ginagawa niya sa akin noong ako pa ang may problema. Ano po ba ang dapat kong gawin?

Nagmamahal,

Albert

* * * * * *

Dear Albert,

Sometimes in our expectations of what a best friend should be, we may tend to lose sight of who we really are and what we are capable of doing. We tend to find ways to fit into that “box” to be considered as one. Falling short of that measure sometimes makes us feel so small that we are unable to be effective in alleviating a friend who seems to go through difficult times.

Just be yourself. You don’t have to be like Jake in his way of helping you when you needed someone to lean on in times of your down moments. You are gifted with a unique personality and ways of expressing concern and care for your friend. You don’t have to create a “script” to make him feel good. Let your heart speak spontaneously through your actions. Empathy does not always come with words but your gentle presence may be enough to soothe the pain that Jake is going through in these moments. And that you are with him, willing to listen, without judgment, to whatever he wants to pour out to you.

You are not expected to solve Jake’s problem for him because it is he who will eventually make a decision on how to deal with his situation. You may offer suggestions according to your own capacity or you may assist him in looking for someone who is more competent to provide such help.

Your prayers are very powerful tools to help your friend cope with this situation. Limited as you are, there is always Someone up there that you can call on, 24/7, who has the power to strengthen and to heal one’s brokenness. God bless you. – DJ Cheng & Ate Emily.

* * * * * *

Tune in to DXGN 89.9 Spirit FM daily, from 1 to 3pm. Email your story at dxgnkwento@gmail.com or pm, DXGN 89.9 Spirit FM Facebook page.