This Valentine give Agape Love to your loved ones

It’s February once again, the love month when Valentine’s Day is celebrated every 14th of this month. It’s the time of the year where lovers may it be married couples or still boyfriends and girlfriends celebrate their love with each other. There are many kinds of love that a person may give to his or her loved ones, it could be “Eros” or Erotic Love, “Philia” or Affectionate Love, “Ludus” or Playful Love, “Mania” or Obsessive Love, “Pragma” or Enduring Love, and “Agape” or Selfless Love. But the greatest love of all is agape love.

Let me share with you H. Norman Wright’s insights about Agape Love in one’s marriage from his book “Starting Out Together”.

According to Mr. Wright, agape love manifests itself through several characteristics. First, it is an unconditional love. It is not based upon your spouse’s performance, but upon your need to share this act of love with your spouse. If you don’t, your spouse may live with the fear that you will limit your love if he or she does not meet your expectations.

Furthermore, he said that agape love is given in spite of how the other person behaves. It is a gift, rather than something that is earned. You are not obligated to love. This form of real love is an unconditional commitment to an imperfect person. It will require more of you that you ever realized; but that’s what marriage is all about.

Mr. Wright also said that agape love is also transparent love. It is strong enough to allow your partner to get close to you and inside you. Transparency involves honesty, truth and sharing positive and negative feelings.

He emphasized that agape love must be at the heart of marriage. It is a self-giving love that keeps on going even when the other person is unlovable. This love will keep the other kinds of love alive. It involves being kind and sympathetic, thoughtful and sensitive to the needs of your loved one, even when you feel he or she doesn’t deserve it.

Moreover, Mr. Wright said that agape love is a healing force. To demonstrate the power of this love, he said to apply this to a critical area that affects marriage — irritability. Irritability is a carrier, and it keeps others at a distance if they know it is present within us. It is the launching pad for attack, lashing out, anger, sharp words, resentment and refusal of others’ offers to love us.

Lastly, he said that agape love is unique in that it causes us to seek to meet the needs of a mate rather demanding and our own needs be reciprocated. Our irritability and frustrations diminish because we are seeking to fulfill another rather than pursuing our own needs and demanding their satisfaction.

I hope married couples and those who are planning to get married find inspiration from the above insights to make the bond of marriage stronger. May you give agape love to your spouse not only during Valentine’s Day but in everyday of your lives. Also, may couples seek God’s providence in making their marital relationship successful.

“The hope of the future lies not in better human inventions, but in better human relations.” – Victor Kitchen