On kindness and friendliness

One evening, my eldest daughter came home from school bringing with her a bunch of string beans. Upon asking her why she has a bunch of string beans, she told me that a boy sold it to her and her friend for just ten pesos. She also said that what prompted her to buy said vegetable was that she felt sorry for the boy. My daughter learned from her friend that the said boy is a neighbor of one of their teachers in school, The teacher told her friend that the boy will be punished if he will come home with unsold vegetables. Upon learning the situation of the boy, the more my daughter felt that she must be kind and friendly towards him. They tried to befriend him but the boy seems to avoid eye contact and did not want to start a conversation with them. So they just paid the bunch of string beans and goes home. With that I was proud of my daughter’s simple act of kindness and on the way she handled the above situation. Her kindness and friendliness towards the boy reminded me about the importance of such values in our lives.

According to Linda and Richard Eyre, authors of the book Teaching Your Children Values “Simple kindness and friendliness is a great human value.” They also said that often a simple act of kindness or a word or two of extended friendship can change another person’s attitude and mood for the rest of the day and longer. Below are some insights from the Eyre’s on how to teach kindness and friendliness to our children.

Teach by example. Give your children clear and specific modes for friendliness, kindness and politeness. This value is one that cannot be overdone. As parents we should be extra friendly and polite to everyone, including your children. Use “please,” “thank you,” and “excuse me,” profusely. Say nice things.

Encourage children of all ages to look people straight in the eye when they speak to them.This method can help children to convey interest and friendliness.

Teach your child the value of relationship, not only with friends but with family. This will increase their appreciation of close “blood” relationships. Take the time to reinforce the importance of having friends and being a friend. Foster and nourish the idea that even though outside friends are very important, the best friends they will ever have should be their brother or sister (as well as his or her parents). Childhood friends will come and go, but family members will last throughout life. Those friendships should be nurtured and treated with care.

Name remembering. It’s a good idea to help our children learn to remember the names of people they meet. Point out that remembering names is a great key in the art of making friends.

Smile, Ask, Listen. Help your children remember the three “keys to friendliness.” These are “smile, ask and listen.” A smile brightens the days for those who give and receive the smile. How a question gets conversations started and lets the other person know you are interested in him. And how really listening helps you learn about and know someone- and shows him that you care.

May the above guidelines help us promote kindness and friendliness to our children and with one another. May we be reminded of these words from Mother Teresa that says “Kind words are short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless. Let us also put in heart Ephesians 4:32 that says “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another as God in Christ forgave you.”