A Mom’s Thoughts: Controlling Your Anger

Ephesians 4:26 says that “If you become angry, do not let your anger lead you to sin, and do not stay angry all day.” Being angry all day is exhausting. It robs us joy. Only kindness and forgiveness melts anger away. Thus, anger must be dealt with quickly before it becomes bitterness, hatred or revenge as pointed out in one of the articles in the book, Touch Points for Couples.

Have you experienced being angry with someone, a friend or a loved one” How did you deal with it? The best thing to deal with anger is according to Proverbs 19:11 that say “If you are sensible you will control your temper. When someone wrongs you, it is a great virtue to ignore it.” But can we become sensible? Most often than not, we tend to become angry easily and afterwards regret it.

HELPGUIDE.ORG says that anger is a normal, healthy emotion, but when chronic, explosive anger spirals out of control, it can have serious consequences for your relationship, your health, and your state of mind. It further, states that the emotion of anger is neither good nor bad. Like any emotion, its conveying a message, telling you that a situation is upsetting, or unjust, or threatening. So, while its perfectly normal to feel angry when you’ve been mistreated or wronged, anger becomes a problem when you express it in a way that harms yourself or others.

Here are some anger management tips I’ve gathered from HELPGUIDE.ORG that may help us in controlling our anger:

1. Explore what’s really behind your anger. Do you pride yourself on being tough and in control? Do you feel that emotions like fear, guilt, or shame don’t apply to you? Everyone has those emotions so you may be using anger as a cover for them.
2. Recognize anger warning signs and triggers. Stressful events don’t excuse anger, but understanding how these events affect you can help you avoid unnecessary aggravation.
3. Learn ways to diffuse anger. Exercise is one way of diffusing anger. Even just a brisk walk around the block can release pent-up energy and enable you to approach the situation with a cooler head.
4. Manage anger in the moment. Focus on the physical sensations of anger. While it may seem counterintuitive, tuning into the way your body feels when you’re angry often lessens the emotional intensity of your anger.
5. Know when to seek professional help. If you’ve tried various anger management techniques and your anger is still spiraling out of control, then you may need professional help. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness.

Now that we know some of the techniques of controlling our anger, may we be reminded by
Psalms 37:8 that says “Don’t give in to worry or anger; it only leads to trouble.” (For your comments and suggestions do email me at morobles71@yahoo.com) (Bing Orbeta-Robles)