Resurrection is openness

Dear KNOT,

A story about a painting of the “Holy Family” was once told to me. I could never forget that story because it gave me one important lesson in life. The story was about a guest who was looking at the paintings and he found one painting that was kind of odd. The painting is a picture of Joseph, Mary and Jesus. Mary was carrying Jesus, while Joseph was standing beside her and knocking at the door. But, it was not opened. The guest finally realized that there was no doorknob, which caused the family of Joseph to be outside. So, the guest told his observation to the painter. But the painter simply answered, “There was no doorknob because it can only be opened inside.”

The story seemed to tell me that God is the one knocking to me. He is asking if He could come inside my heart. But, like what the painting is depicting, I never dared to open the door. I have a lot of hesitations and fears that blocked my intention of opening up. And this led me back to the time I was discerning about my real purpose in life. I could never forget the line that was said to me, “God could never decide for us.” Confusing, isn’t it? We know God as an all knowing and all powerful God, who surpasses all understanding and wisdom, yet He could and would never decide for us. It could have been so simple for Him. Life would have been so easy if that’s the case. But He never did, instead He gifted us with freewill to exercise. In similar manner, He gave us the grace of freedom so we may know how to pray earnestly for what we wanted and to seek comfort that He is a God who loves us dearly.

This somehow enlightened me of what life is all about. God had been inviting me in a lot of things. He opened new opportunities for me to have. But like I always do, I hesitated! I was so afraid in trying something new, of taking risk. I was afraid of change. My fear of uncertainty and change led me to drift away from God. I remained to be closed because truth be told, I was not fully convinced that God knows best. Then I realized, this is not about my fears nor my hesitations and doubts but this is about my faith. My faith in Him is so superficial. Our willingness therefore to be opened has something to do with our trust.

I guess, “Life gives you pretty much what you give it.” If we could not open ourselves then, we can’t expect that God could give us something wonderful. God could never work marvels in our life if we will not allow Him. God will never force us. He can only invite us.  – Shiobe Ting, Del Carmen GKK, San Pablo Parish

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Thanks Shiobe. We are with you in prayers as you discern your vocation to religious life. ‘Til next k’wentuhan higala! – Cheng