Merciful Second Father

Facebook as an Effective Christian Tool

Sometime last year, I stumbled upon the most unexpected encounter of my life.

Amazingly it progressively dragged on to this day, making this Christmas one very meaningful event of my life. Long before that, I thought that Facebook was just a mere past-time luxury, or entertainment at the most. And then it happened. What I’m going to share with you, believe it or not, is not a fairy tale – this is a verifiable true-to-life story.

One day as I was whiling away my time, tinkering on my FB, somebody sent me a “pm” in my chat-box. This was not unusual to me, as I’ve been used to getting all kinds of private messages commenting on my FB posts, from people I know and even from those I don’t know personally. He started with “Hi, how are you Sir?” As usual, out of simple courtesy, I would reply “I’m fine, tnx!” Most of them would pursue short casual conversations with me, usually on general or current topics/issues. Of course, out of courtesy again, I would sustain chatting with them.

But this guy progressively turned serious, finally saying “Sir, tulungan n’yo po ako! Gusto ko na’ng magpakamatay!” Shocking! All my life, this was the first time I received such kind of pm, and so honestly I felt panicky, I did not know how to answer him!

It took me some minutes to answer, because any mistake or wrong answer from me can mean either “life or death” for this man whom I don’t even know personally. It could be just a prank pm, I thought. But what if he’s serious? Ignoring him would be a very high risk for me, primarily as a Christian. This case crossed my mind as a very serious challenge to the “Christian” in me. We’re all aware that the rate of suicide cases has not gone down, especially among the young. And this guy is 27 years old.

At first I was hesitating, but eventually I decided to take the risk, after some moments of prayers (asking God for help). So I asked the guy, “what’s your problem?” In a nutshell, this was his answer: he never experienced nor felt a father’s love, concern and care. He missed all that since birth, during his growing years, until the time he graduated from college. Yes, he received all the financial support he needed and wanted, but he never, never felt true LOVE from his father. How he survived without getting astray was a big testament of how his mother tried to compensate for what he missed from his father.

But then, he had one more ace up his sleeves: graduation day was approaching. He thought his father would show up, and become finally VERY PROUD OF HIM. He was finishing a college degree in Criminology, because he remembered his father wanted him to become a police officer. And so he was cherishing this long-wanted most probable scenario: a very warm tight fatherly embrace from him, which he never experienced all his life, not even once as a kid! But a stroke of (no) luck dashed all that hope – 2 days before graduation day, his father died of stroke!

Losing his father in such a manner turned a very tragic leaf in his life. But in fairness, he tried his best to overcome grief, doing all he could in order to move on. And so did his mother. Then time came for him to apply at the PNP, processing and complying with all requirements. But the PAT screening (physical agility test) immediately gave him a painful knock-down – he failed! This devastated him to the max, his already faltering morale eventually caved in. He then confided to me in FB: he found no more reason to live, and so he wanted to die.

Honestly it was again a moment of critical indecision on my part. I prayed to God for His guidance and wisdom: how to handle this case. I’m no professional Guidance Counselor, especially because we do not know each other, and we live a far distance from each other. So the best I thought I could do at that moment was to tell him: “try it again, I will help you.” He did “bite my bait” – this was the start of a long series of chatting with him in FB. Patiently he explained to me the PNP process of application, and I found myself educated/informed of how to become a police officer. So I told him to start all over again.

This was a long journey taking several months, testing my patience and perseverance for this man whom I do not know, whom I have never met. Because of his weak/unstable personality and uncooperative attitude sometimes, I used the “carrot and stick” to motivate him to keep him on track. To make the long story short, despite the ups and downs he experienced in the whole process, thru our constant communications, he made it the second time around! And he found a “break” – self-confidence restored, self-esteem alive, opening up a future and realization of his dreams. He was one among the 2015 batch of new 273 PNP recruits sent to 6-months training in Parang Maguindanao.

Well and good, I thought I have done my job. I was wrong. He wanted more and pleaded to me: “Dad, it’s you who gave me life again, please adopt me as your son.” Again, it gave me another mixed feelings. He then pursued his plea, “please don’t fail me Daddy. I still feel I cannot go on with my newly found life without you guiding me, inspiring me, correcting my mistakes, reminding me, etc… and please call me ‘Son’ from now on.”

This guy I noticed was too lacking in his spiritual life, and the big break in “his encounter with the Lord” came when he was luckily picked up as one of the “12 Apostles” in Parang during this year’s Holy Week celebration. All this time thru FB and cellphone, we were communicating regularly, and so I was updated of his growth and development as a person. Then I taught him how to pray, especially the Rosary. With the Holy Spirit’s wonder works and mysterious ways, he became so excited about this new-found activity. He was able to secure a Rosary Guide from a friend in the church. To cap his internal conversion, he also was able to “return the favor” – my newly adopted son JOEY asked me to pray the Rosary with him every night, I repeat, every night through our cellphones. And so we started doing it, daily regularly, from then on until now. In like manner, our FBs are kept burning with our communications at a distance, as “father and son.” (Dodong Ocon | SADLP SoCCom)