With your Love

(A Mother’s love for her son)

“Belated happy birthday Ma.  Kumusta na mo diha?  Naa mi dire duol Cape Town, South Africa, padulong mi China.  Si Papa, asa sila?  Ingat mo diha permi, ok?  Kumusta na lang sa tanan (Belated happy birthday Ma.  How are you all?  We are near Cape Town, South Africa, on our way to China.  Papa, where are they now?  Take care always.  My regards to all.)”  was the text message Mary received from her son Benson Sumalinog, Jr. at 3:55:01 on March 29, 2004. At 4:02:32, Benny texted again “Sunod bulan pa ko magpadala Ma.  Kumusta man sila Nikki ug JC?  Unsa handa nimo adtong birthday?  Okay lang ko diri, basi mahurot na akong load.  Ingat mo permi diha, ok.  I miss you Ma. (I’ll send money next month Ma.  How are Nikki and JC?  What food did you prepare for your birthday?  I am okay here, I am short of load now.  Take care always.  I miss you Ma.)”

At about 9:00am on March 31, Benny Jr.’s dog Tootsie kept jumping and crying, wanting a hug.  A call came but had a poor connection.  At past 8:00pm, the next call came from the Manila manning agency.  The staff said “Your son died, nag suicide.  (Your son died, he committed suicide.)”

Unbelieving, Mary prayed “Mama Mary, You are there with him, You know and witnessed the truth, I cannot be there, so please embrace Benny with Your love!”

The details came painfully:  “With a noose tied around his neck, his body was found hanging in the accommodation ladder.”  No other information on where Benny Jr.’s body was.  On Mary’s pretext of an emergency involving Benny Jr., Benson Sr. came home.  Again Mary prayed to GOD and Mother Mary to prepare her husband’s heart about the sad event.  Mary and family sought the help of Fr. Jack Walsh, who was the long-time chaplain of the Stella Maris Seafarers organisation.

It was a crazy, seemingly endless and cruel search to locate the body of Benny Jr.  After many useless leads, his wake was finally found by Fr. Walsh in Dover Funeral Parlor in South Africa.  The twenty two (22) days waiting went painfully slow.  Sending Benny Jr. off alive and healthy crushed the family’s heart to see him back in a cargo box.  Touching the box, Mary asked “Why, what happened Benny? Please give me a sign because I do not believe you committed suicide. ..I promise to visit your grave always, light candles, offer masses for you.”

Mary dreamt Benny Jr. struggling, shouting for help.  In another dream she saw an unknown tall man searching for something in a coffin.  As if in a dream-like trance at3:00pm, Mary had a conversation with Benny Jr.  He said that someone pulled his head under water until he could not breathe, then he was put in a place.  In another dream, Benny Jr. told Mary “Don’t worry about me, I am now okay.  Someday you will know the truth.,” and he faded wearing a cream polo and pants.  After six (6) months, Mary dreamed Benny Jr. at a distance surrounded by a light so bright that it lighted a forest.

With a mother’s heart, Mary searched the internet and connected with FOSS (Friends of the Suffering Souls) and PWHS (Prayer Warriors of the Holy Souls) to ensure that Benny Jr. had daily masses said for him.  And it was from her pain that PWHS came to Davao.

Questions still linger in Mary’s heart – February 2004, Benny Jr. left for Singapore, and was on board the ship in the United States on March 5, 2004. March 29, 2004, he texted he was okay.  March 31, 2004, Benny Jr. was dead.  How come??  Mary remembers sometime January 2004, their neighbor brandished a bolo intending to hurt his wife.  Benny Jr. placated the husband and told him to love his family, not to harm them.  The husband cried and asked for forgiveness.  This surely has merit for Benny Jr., Mary believes.

With her Jr. gone, and forever young at 26 years old, Mary’s Benny Sr. continues to be a seaman.  It still pains Mary to think of the past, but feels assured that Benny Jr. is truly and safely in the loving embrace of Mother Mary.  Why?  Because they are not bitter, but believes that justice always prevails.  Truth and justice will come someday.

As told by Mary Sumalinog to Bella A. Sarenas